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Fvorboda
04 September 2007 @ 04:14 pm
It's taking all of my strength just to be stable today...


Well, it's been almost a year to the moment
When I finally realized it was over
And I knew that love wasn't good enough
Of a reason for me to stay.
Well, I saw you yesterday; you were drivin'
And I tried so hard to forget you were alive
And as you passed by I began to cry
Over things that I did not say

And hide underneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me

So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
And love's something that I wouldn't wanna live without
So I'm takin' my heart and I'm gettin' me out
On my own, my own, my own

Well, it takes all of my strength to be stable
And I force your insults under the table
And if you were wise you would compromise
And allow me to live my way
'Cause I am not a force to be reckoned with
And you don't have a clue what you're messin' with
And you can't see to the best in me
'Cause it's more than your heart can take

Hiding beneath my blankets and sheets
I'm finally free
I'm killin' the ghost of you, and I'm close to
Awakening me

I'm takin' my heart and I'm settin' you free
And, baby, now you're just another song to me
And the edge of your sword isn't sharp enough for me
To bleed.
 
 
Current Mood: distressedDetached
Current Music: Anna Nalick
 
 
Fvorboda
27 July 2007 @ 09:13 am
You Know My Name

A roll of die
And I see you smile
In the distance, I remain.

Within the darkness,
Hiding me,
You bind me just the same.

Your laughter pierces me
Agony twisted,
I smile to hide my pain,

I close my eyes
And look away
I bow and hide my shame.

You look at me and hint
Invisibility
My doubts call silence

You know my name.
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
Fvorboda
09 July 2007 @ 02:59 pm
Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Creed
 
 
Fvorboda
16 June 2007 @ 01:45 am
We Belong, We Belong to the light
Many times I've tried to tell you
Many times I've cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you
Cut my feelings to the bone

Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
To give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind

CHORUS:
We Belong to the light
We Belong to the thunder
We Belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We Belong, We Belong
We Belong together

Maybe it's a sign of weakness
When I don't know what to say
Maybe I just wouldn't know
What to do with my strength anyway
Have we become a habit?
Do we distort the facts?
Now there's no looking forward,
Now there's no turning back
When you say

CHORUS
We Belong to the light
We Belong to the thunder
We Belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We Belong, We Belong
We Belong together

Close your eyes and try to sleep now
Close your eyes and try to dream
Clear your mind and do your best
To try and wash the palette clean
We can't begin to know it--
How much we really care
I hear your voice inside me
I see your face everywhere
Still you say

CHORUS
We Belong to the light
We Belong to the thunder
We Belong to the sound of the words
We've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace
For worse or for better
We Belong, We Belong
We Belong together
-------------------------------------------------
This is one of those songs that seems to fit in several different lives. So much heartache and wanting and needing and feeling. It fits in your life, it fits in mine; it fits in his and hers and theirs.
 
 
Current Mood: workingwanting
Current Music: Pat Benatar
 
 
Fvorboda
04 June 2007 @ 01:08 am
So very very very exhausted.

Very malfunctional Taking the day of after tomorrow!
 
 
 
Fvorboda
27 April 2007 @ 12:34 pm
...Let me on down 'cause time has made me strong, I'm starting to move on. I'm gonna say this now, your chance has come and gone and you know it's just too little too late, a little too wrong...

I was young and in love. I gave you everything but it wasn't enough. And now you wanna communicate? Go find someone else? In letting you go...You gotta problem? But don't come askin me for help, 'cause ya know it's just too little too late, a little too wrong...
 
 
Fvorboda
16 April 2007 @ 04:33 pm
I finally found it. I was laying in bed one morning when my alarm clock went off. I laid there for a few minutes and a song came on that I really liked. The lyrics, the vocals, the emotion, the song. I was listening to "The Mix" radio station which doesn't say the artist or song title after each song, so I had no idea what it was called. I emailed the radio station twice to try and figure out what it was called. I described it and about what time it played and they had no idea what it was. But, I heard it on the radio on "My 99.5" (where they say the title and artist after every song) and I was so excited. Then today, I found it on YouTube. It just fits with how I feel and have felt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF1wZQzpeKA

"The Kill"
-30 Seconds To Mars

What if I wanted to break
Laugh it all off in your face
What would you do? (Oh, oh)
What if I fell to the floor
Couldn't take all this anymore
What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight
Beg for the rest of my life
What would you do?
You say you wanted more
What are you waiting for?
I'm not running from you (from you)

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am.

Ah, ah
Oh, oh
Ah, ah

Come break me down
Bury me, bury me
I am finished with you, you, you.
Look in my eyes
You're killing me, killing me
All I wanted was you

Come break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)
Break me down (bury me, bury me)

(You say you wanted more)
What if I wanted to break...?
(What are you waiting for?)
Bury me, bury me
(I'm not running from you)
What if I
What if I
What if I
What if I
Bury me, bury me
 
 
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: The Kill
 
 
Fvorboda
11 April 2007 @ 05:20 pm
I go wild cause you break me open
Wild cause you left me here
I go wild

Wild because the chips are down
Wild because there isn't anybody else around
Wild when the waves start to break
And God knows they're breaking in me now

I go wild 'cause it doesn't make sense
For me to cry out in my own defense
Wild because I would do anything
To tear you off your precious fence

So this is what it's like living in limbo
First I'm high then I'm solo

I go wild
'Cause you break me open
Wild
'Cause you left me here
I go wild
'Cause your promises are broken
Wild
When I know you're near
I go wild
I go wild

Tell me what you've come for
Moving like a hunter through my back door
Leaving the perfume of all you adore
To die nameless on my floor

Yeah well we both know you don't play fair
I guess you really think that you get me there
Let's be honest perhaps this little ride
Is too much for even you to bear

You've got some nerve to come back here
You're not the only one who can smell fear

I go wild
'Cause you break me open
Wild
'Cause you left me here
I go wild
'Cause your promises are broken
Wild
Don't you get it dear
You're not the only one who lives on instincts
No I've got instincts of my own

You've got a lot of nerve to come back
Plan your attack yeah I am still waiting
You wrote the rules to try to contain me
You broke 'em
Now you have untamed me
I go wild
I go wild

Tell me what you've come for
What is it you adore?
Won't you tell me?
What would you
Go wild for?

You've got a lot of nerve to come back here
Speak up my darling I have been waiting

I go wild
'Cause you break me open
Wild
'Cause you left me here
I go wild
'Cause your promises are broken
Wild
Don't you get it dear?
You're not the only one who lives on instincts
No I've got instincts of my own

You've got alot of nerve to come back
Plan your attack yeah I am still waiting
You wrote the rules to try and contain me
You broke 'em
Now you have untamed me
I go wild
I go wild
 
 
Fvorboda
25 March 2007 @ 11:36 pm
Sounds and songs and thoughts and images that ring through me on nights like these when I sit alone...
in this cold house
on the cold floor
in this empty room
quiet and screaming.

If I cut you down to a thing I can use, I fear there will be nothing good left of you.

I'm patiently waiting, bedside, for the death of today. Me, and all I stood for, we're wondering now...

Now that you're gone, I feel like myself again. Grieving the things I can't repair...
...blame it on me, and set your guilt free.
I can't change who I am. Not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me. And in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up. My love wasn't enough.

You'll never know the way your words have haunted me. I can't believe you'd ask these things of me. You don't know me...
I'm losing my mind and you just stand there and stare as my world divides.

If I fall and all is lost, No light to lead the way. Remember that all alone is where I belong.

It's true, we're all a little insane, but it's so clear now that I'm unchained. Fear is only in our minds, taking over all the time.
You know you live to break me. Don't deny.
One day I'm gonna forget your name, And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain.
And oh you love to hate me don't you, honey? I'm your sacrifice.
(I dream in darkness, I sleep to die, erase the silence, erase my life, our burning ashes
blacken the day, a world of nothingness, blow me away.)
Do you wonder why you hate? Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?

I won't be held down by who I used to be. She's nothing to me.
 
 
Current Mood: crappySomber
Current Music: Thank you, Evanescence
 
 
Fvorboda
03 February 2007 @ 10:48 pm
Where once was light,
Now darkness falls
Where once was love,
Love is no more

Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try...

These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us–
The hurt, the blame.

And we will weep
To be so alone
We are lost.
We can never go home.

So in the end
I will be what I will be,
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me.

Now we say, goodbye
We say, you didn't try...

These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies–
The hurt, the blame.

And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost.
You can never go home.

You are lost.
You can never go home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70kgBzO31Ac
 
 
Current Mood: lazySolemn
Current Music: Emiliana Torrini